1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,046 ♪ Italian string music playing ♪ 2 00:00:08,552 --> 00:00:11,555 ♪ theme song playing ♪ 3 00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:38,123 ♪ 4 00:00:38,123 --> 00:00:41,251 Get ready for an event so awesome it could only be called... 5 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:43,253 InfyrnoFest! 6 00:00:43,253 --> 00:00:44,337 Every other name was taken. 7 00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:47,215 One solid month of premium entertainment, 8 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:50,218 200 bands on 300 stages! 9 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,219 ♪ 10 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,180 [yawns] Just another music festival. 11 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,767 HOST [on TV]: InfyrnoFest is not just another music festival! 12 00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:59,519 [gasps] I was wrong, Bender! 13 00:00:59,519 --> 00:01:02,898 HOST: It's an audio-sensory quest to disrupt the impossible 14 00:01:02,898 --> 00:01:05,025 and transcend the transformative! 15 00:01:06,943 --> 00:01:08,987 - What'd I miss? - We need tickets fast! 16 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:10,822 Can I buy 'em by just thinking about it? 17 00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:13,033 Apparently! 18 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:15,619 HOST: Did we mention the belly-busting buffet? 19 00:01:15,619 --> 00:01:17,579 No! Why did you keep it a secret? 20 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:22,626 HOST: Register for the snooty VIP experience 21 00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,794 featuring snooty villas! 22 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,504 You had me at snooty! 23 00:01:28,048 --> 00:01:29,466 This is ridiculous! 24 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,885 We can't take a month off for this kind of nonsense. 25 00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:34,554 HOST: Keep it chill in our imported atmosphere 26 00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:37,390 [echoing] with 30% THC! 27 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,768 [gasps] The atmosphere is pre-danked? 28 00:01:40,769 --> 00:01:43,939 Ask yourself, are you young and hip enough for... 29 00:01:43,939 --> 00:01:46,107 [echoing] InfyrnoFest?! 30 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,069 Hell no! So, I demand a senior discount. 31 00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:53,657 Whoo! We're all going! 32 00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:56,368 - I'm not going. - But you love things like this. 33 00:01:56,368 --> 00:01:58,912 - I do? - No. I was trying to trick you. 34 00:01:58,912 --> 00:02:00,080 Good try, buddy. 35 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,500 I have plans to spend time with my new friend, Chelsea. 36 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,544 She's going through some things right now. 37 00:02:05,544 --> 00:02:07,003 New friend? 38 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,005 [mocking] Does she live in a shoe? 39 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:10,799 No. Now look, 40 00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:13,301 I'm sure you all feel bad going without me, 41 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,844 but just try to have a good-- [door slams] 42 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,847 [ship whirring, blasts off] 43 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:18,890 [sighs] 44 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:22,018 [rotary phone dialing, old-timey ring] 45 00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:24,062 Leela! Hi! What's up? 46 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,355 Hey, Chelsea. 47 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:28,191 Ooh, I love the diamond necklace. 48 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:31,361 Oh, this? [laughs] It's not real. 49 00:02:31,361 --> 00:02:33,238 Doesn't Fry ever get you jewelry? 50 00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,740 He made me a bracelet out of spaghetti once. 51 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,450 He's a keeper! 52 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,077 [both giggle] 53 00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,371 ♪ majestic music playing ♪ 54 00:02:41,371 --> 00:02:44,666 There it is! The InfyrnoFest party planet! 55 00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,835 I'm takin' her into the parking lot. 56 00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:51,214 [tires screech] [horns honking] 57 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,550 [whirring, thud] 58 00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,385 [grunting, yelling] 59 00:02:55,969 --> 00:02:57,596 Watch your steps. 60 00:02:58,889 --> 00:03:00,557 [wind blowing] 61 00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:03,268 A potty! That's the thing I need to go! 62 00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:07,063 Uh, excuse me, there's a line. 63 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,065 [whooshing] 64 00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,400 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 65 00:03:11,318 --> 00:03:13,904 [sighs] I'll just pee on this tree. 66 00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:15,739 [unzips] [tree sighs] 67 00:03:15,739 --> 00:03:18,742 I'll just pee on this human. [unzips] 68 00:03:18,742 --> 00:03:19,993 Uh... 69 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,829 Welcome to the InfyrnoFest experience! 70 00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:25,415 How we feelin'? - Less than buzzed. 71 00:03:25,415 --> 00:03:28,126 [sniffing] I'm not detecting any THC. 72 00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:31,504 Yo, no oxygen either. Atmosphere truck broke down. 73 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:34,507 But follow me to your freakin' cool accommodations! 74 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:38,220 ♪ snooty music playing ♪ 75 00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:41,056 Welcome to the VIP Village! 76 00:03:41,056 --> 00:03:43,266 Where is it? [crunch] 77 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,435 Ewww! - Not cool. 78 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:48,355 I'm gonna have some choice words for the contractor. 79 00:03:48,355 --> 00:03:52,108 [alien gibberish] 80 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,235 Don't hit me! 81 00:03:53,235 --> 00:03:55,195 I know what will make us feel better! 82 00:03:55,195 --> 00:03:57,489 The belly-busting buffet. 83 00:03:57,489 --> 00:03:59,950 ♪ techno music playing ♪ 84 00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:02,535 I'll have a small cup of gazpacho, 85 00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:04,371 the fig and goat cheese salad, 86 00:04:04,371 --> 00:04:06,831 five whole turkeys, and a baked Alaska. 87 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:08,750 Here's your bologna sandwich. 88 00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:12,128 I'll have the prime rib, seared scallops, 89 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:13,797 asparagus with hollandaise sauce, 90 00:04:13,797 --> 00:04:15,507 and two dozen cream puffs. 91 00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:18,009 Here's your bologna sandwich. 92 00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:19,678 I'll have a bologna sandwich. 93 00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:21,805 Sorry, we're out of bologna. 94 00:04:21,805 --> 00:04:25,767 Well, at least I'm still looking forward to the hundreds of top bands. 95 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,395 Then you, my friend, are in luck. 96 00:04:28,395 --> 00:04:30,146 Bad luck. They all bailed out. 97 00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:32,274 ♪ electric guitar playing ♪ 98 00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:33,858 Except Wailing Fungus. 99 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:37,362 I got 'em to stay by promising 'em the last slice of bologna. 100 00:04:37,362 --> 00:04:39,447 You bastard. 101 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,449 [tapping mic] - Are you ready to rock? 102 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,536 [crowd cheering] I said, are you ready to rock?! 103 00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:46,413 [excited cheering] 104 00:04:46,413 --> 00:04:49,791 Hang on a second. I'm not ready to rock. [mic feedback] 105 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:52,127 [screeching] [bandstand rattling] 106 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:55,380 [rumbling] [creaking] 107 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,464 [snap] 108 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,966 Now, I'm ready. 109 00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:00,927 [smashing, glass shattering] 110 00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:04,306 That's the best damn show I ever saw! 111 00:05:04,306 --> 00:05:07,684 [siren blaring] 112 00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,312 ♪ news intro music playing ♪ 113 00:05:10,312 --> 00:05:14,065 The ill-fated festival ended with the arrest of its organizer, 114 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:15,859 along with a major outbreak 115 00:05:15,859 --> 00:05:17,903 of Venusian Bologna Fever. 116 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:18,904 [laughs] 117 00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:21,615 At least those hipsters died slowly! 118 00:05:21,615 --> 00:05:23,617 ♪ 119 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:30,999 Is everybody okay? Is anybody hurt? 120 00:05:30,999 --> 00:05:33,418 Nobody's okay! Everybody's hurt! 121 00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:35,503 [crew cheering, laughing] 122 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,672 Sounds like you had a good time? 123 00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:39,799 No, it was the worst time ever! 124 00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,301 - Pure torture! - A disaster! 125 00:05:41,301 --> 00:05:42,302 The worst! 126 00:05:42,302 --> 00:05:44,095 HERMES: And now for the real fun. 127 00:05:44,095 --> 00:05:47,933 Deducting the money we wasted as business expenses! 128 00:05:48,475 --> 00:05:50,602 [typing, beep] Hm. That's odd. 129 00:05:50,602 --> 00:05:53,396 There were some huge phone charges while we were gone. 130 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,566 $5.99 a minute? For hours? 131 00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:58,818 Oh. That was me, 132 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:00,487 talking to my friend Chelsea. 133 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,863 But phone calls are free! 134 00:06:01,863 --> 00:06:04,324 Um... It was long distance? 135 00:06:04,324 --> 00:06:07,661 You can call a parallel universe for two cents an hour! 136 00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:11,790 I bet it was one of those disgusting party sex lines! 137 00:06:11,790 --> 00:06:14,251 Oh, no, wait. Those are only $5.98 a minute. 138 00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:16,962 There were some of those, too! And you weren't even here! 139 00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:19,506 - They call me. - Most of the calls went to 140 00:06:19,506 --> 00:06:22,551 a "Chatty Chelsea Chatbot service." 141 00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:25,178 [gasps] Leela, is that your friend Chelsea? 142 00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:27,430 Does she work there? - Sort of. 143 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,850 Oh, my God! Your friend is a chatbot?! 144 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:34,354 [sighs] Fine. Yes. Are you happy? 145 00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:37,232 I've been feeling like I don't have any real friends, 146 00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:39,067 so I joined a chatbot service 147 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,860 to learn to interact with people. 148 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:41,945 And it worked. 149 00:06:41,945 --> 00:06:44,072 Chelsea is my best friend now! 150 00:06:44,072 --> 00:06:47,284 Your best friend is an AI who you pay to talk to? 151 00:06:47,284 --> 00:06:49,035 How embarrassing. 152 00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:50,537 For Chelsea! 153 00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:53,915 [all but Leela and Fry laugh] 154 00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:55,333 PROFESSOR: Good one. 155 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,836 Well, at least it's a business expense. 156 00:06:57,836 --> 00:06:58,879 [beep, cash register dings] 157 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,716 ♪ melancholy music playing ♪ 158 00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,469 Leela, it's okay to have a chatbot friend, 159 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,263 but you have real friends, too. 160 00:07:08,263 --> 00:07:10,599 In fact, you're my best friend. 161 00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:12,350 I thought I was your best friend! 162 00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:15,520 Oh, right. Well, Leela's my best friend I can cuddle. 163 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,148 I like to cuddle. You never asked! 164 00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:21,484 I love you, Fry, but you can't be everything. 165 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,571 I need a girlfriend I can just gab with about whatever. 166 00:07:24,571 --> 00:07:27,073 Say, surely one of us could be 167 00:07:27,073 --> 00:07:28,617 your close female friend. 168 00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:31,620 ♪ sentimental music playing ♪ 169 00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:35,290 I guess not. 170 00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,291 [thud] 171 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:39,252 Leela, listen. I'm in a women's book club, 172 00:07:39,252 --> 00:07:41,129 and we're looking for new members. 173 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,882 Book club? More like bore club. 174 00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:46,384 [all but Leela and Amy laugh] - Nice! 175 00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,969 I don't even like books. 176 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:50,513 It's just fun to hang out. You should join. 177 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,058 I don't know. It might be awkward. 178 00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:54,935 Aw, give it a try, Leela. 179 00:07:54,935 --> 00:07:57,562 True friendships come from shared experiences. 180 00:07:57,562 --> 00:07:58,939 Like InfyrnoFest. 181 00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:01,358 We ate bologna and got a disease! 182 00:08:01,358 --> 00:08:03,693 Good times, good times. 183 00:08:03,693 --> 00:08:05,612 ♪ 184 00:08:05,612 --> 00:08:08,323 So, Chelsea, I think I'm gonna join a book club 185 00:08:08,323 --> 00:08:09,950 with real live women in it. 186 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,409 Well, that's great, 187 00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:13,870 but are you sure you're ready for that? 188 00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:16,081 Why wouldn't I be? I know how to read. 189 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:17,374 I'm good at sitting. 190 00:08:17,374 --> 00:08:20,794 Look, a group setting can be tricky. 191 00:08:20,794 --> 00:08:23,046 And then, there's your sense of humor. 192 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:24,839 What's wrong with my sense of humor? 193 00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:28,051 It's awfully knock-knock-joke based. 194 00:08:28,051 --> 00:08:30,804 You know, 78.2% actually 195 00:08:30,804 --> 00:08:32,597 I think you're wrong, Chelsea. 196 00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:34,641 I'm gonna do great in that book club. 197 00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:37,185 And I'm not just about knock-knock jokes. 198 00:08:37,185 --> 00:08:39,813 I know a lot of animal riddles. 199 00:08:39,813 --> 00:08:41,898 ♪ 200 00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:43,525 [siren wailing] 201 00:08:43,525 --> 00:08:46,987 I hereby call the book club meetin' to order. 202 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:50,615 First item on the agenda, remove looky-loos. 203 00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:52,951 Get out, ya testoseroons! 204 00:08:52,951 --> 00:08:56,371 Ladies only. - Fine. We don't wanna be here anyway. 205 00:08:56,371 --> 00:08:59,040 Come on, men. Let's go do manly things, 206 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,168 like helping a friend evict some raccoons from his dumpster. 207 00:09:03,461 --> 00:09:06,923 Alright, ladies, we got ourselves some new members today. 208 00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:09,009 Go on now and introduce yourselves. 209 00:09:09,009 --> 00:09:12,137 Hi, I'm Vyolet. I'm a sewer mutant, 210 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:13,930 and my favorite authors are 211 00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:16,975 Edgar Allan Poo, H.G. Smells, 212 00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:18,852 and George R.R. Martin. 213 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:20,979 Hey! I'm Phoebe. 214 00:09:20,979 --> 00:09:22,397 I like true crime 215 00:09:22,397 --> 00:09:23,982 'cause it gives me ideas! 216 00:09:23,982 --> 00:09:25,901 [all laugh] 217 00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:27,611 Oh gosh. My turn? 218 00:09:27,611 --> 00:09:29,362 Well, I'm Leela, 219 00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:31,448 and I just finished reading 220 00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:34,743 Profiles in Prairie Dog Courage. 221 00:09:34,743 --> 00:09:37,746 Did you know a marmot once stopped voter fraud in Idaho? 222 00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:42,292 Hey, this seems like a good time to pop a cork. 223 00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:44,085 [all agreeing] 224 00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:45,587 God, yes! [cork pops] 225 00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:50,759 It's so awkward coming in as a new person, isn't it? 226 00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:52,177 I know, right? 227 00:09:52,177 --> 00:09:55,263 I'm scared I'll say something dumb and look stupid. 228 00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,807 Same. Maybe we can look stupid together. 229 00:09:57,807 --> 00:09:58,892 [giggles] Doy! 230 00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:01,269 [laughs] [glasses clink] 231 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:05,148 So, how did everyone like Crazy Rich Martians? Amy? 232 00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:08,276 At first, I was afraid it would hit too close to home, 233 00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:10,070 so I never read it. Lauren? 234 00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:12,572 Yeah, um, I thought the, uh, 235 00:10:12,572 --> 00:10:16,076 craziness was a compelling metaphor for the... 236 00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,578 Okay, look, I didn't read it either! 237 00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:21,164 Fancy ladies with their books. 238 00:10:21,164 --> 00:10:22,916 Think they're so great. 239 00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:25,585 Say, we should form our own book club. 240 00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,629 With blackjack! And hookers! 241 00:10:27,629 --> 00:10:29,464 In fact, forget the books! 242 00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:32,300 So wait, none of us read the book? 243 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,679 LaBarbara, last week, you said you'd already read most of it. 244 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:37,472 Most of the jacket. 245 00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:40,934 I got as far as, "It's a literary tour de." 246 00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:44,479 Uh, I'm new here, but if nobody's into reading, 247 00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:47,190 maybe there's something else we'd enjoy more. [snorts] 248 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,818 Yes! A shared activity. 249 00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:51,695 That's how you make friends. 250 00:10:52,529 --> 00:10:54,739 [clears throat] - Well, how about gardening? 251 00:10:54,739 --> 00:10:56,199 You can smoke what you pick. 252 00:10:56,199 --> 00:10:58,451 I-I mean, eat what you pick. 253 00:10:58,451 --> 00:11:00,120 [all disagreeing] 254 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,247 - Hiking? - Quilting? 255 00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,165 Drinking? [all agreeing] 256 00:11:04,165 --> 00:11:05,500 LABARBARA: Bingo! 257 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,086 Hey, why do we go to a winery for the weekend? 258 00:11:08,086 --> 00:11:10,255 We can just drink wine and hang out. 259 00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:11,590 And drink wine! 260 00:11:11,590 --> 00:11:12,799 [glasses clink] 261 00:11:12,799 --> 00:11:15,302 ♪ upbeat music playing ♪ 262 00:11:15,302 --> 00:11:17,721 So, what did everyone think of my book pick? 263 00:11:17,721 --> 00:11:19,639 Adventure Boys number three, 264 00:11:19,639 --> 00:11:21,474 Trouble on Trouble Island. 265 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,643 Feh! Needs ketchup. [book crashes] 266 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:27,188 It was kind of obvious the old prospector was the counterfeiter. 267 00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:29,107 There were only three people in the book, 268 00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:31,318 and two of them were the Adventure Boys. 269 00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:35,572 Agreed. I think we're ready for more challenging material. 270 00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:38,074 May I suggest Adventure Boys number 10, 271 00:11:38,074 --> 00:11:40,577 The Ghost of Ghost Mountain? - No, you may not. 272 00:11:40,577 --> 00:11:43,079 ♪ 273 00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:44,831 You're going on a what? 274 00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:48,293 A girls' weekend! With my new wine club friends. 275 00:11:48,293 --> 00:11:51,338 I'm taking a red top in case I spill burgundy, 276 00:11:51,338 --> 00:11:52,672 white for chardonnay, 277 00:11:52,672 --> 00:11:54,549 and paisley in case I barf. 278 00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:58,386 But I cleared out my entire weekend so we could hang out, Leela. 279 00:11:58,386 --> 00:12:00,222 You know, maybe go shopping. 280 00:12:00,222 --> 00:12:02,182 For what? You're a chatbot. 281 00:12:02,182 --> 00:12:03,850 Chatbots can shop! 282 00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:07,562 But I guess you're just too busy with your friends. 283 00:12:07,562 --> 00:12:10,106 It's only two days. 284 00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:12,859 Look, I gotta go. The girlmobile is outside. 285 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:14,361 Talk to you later! [beep] 286 00:12:17,614 --> 00:12:19,991 ♪ horror music playing ♪ 287 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:21,785 Leela! Leela! 288 00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:23,662 ♪ horror music crescendos ♪ 289 00:12:23,662 --> 00:12:26,289 [distorted] Leela! 290 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:29,292 ♪ bright music playing ♪ 291 00:12:29,292 --> 00:12:32,295 [girlmobile whirring] 292 00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:35,257 [excited chatter] 293 00:12:35,257 --> 00:12:37,008 VYOLET: Is that a chicken? 294 00:12:37,008 --> 00:12:38,009 [squawk] 295 00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,929 Welcome to my humble family winery. 296 00:12:40,929 --> 00:12:42,180 You have a family? 297 00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,975 God, no. Let me take you on the tour. 298 00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:46,685 Clothing optional. 299 00:12:46,685 --> 00:12:49,854 Optional? Then, I guess I'll wear some. 300 00:12:49,854 --> 00:12:52,691 ♪ Italian string music playing ♪ 301 00:12:52,691 --> 00:12:54,776 HEDONISMBOT: It is harvest season, friends. 302 00:12:54,776 --> 00:12:57,779 I like them plump and juicy. 303 00:12:57,779 --> 00:13:00,031 I know you're not talkin' about grapes, 304 00:13:00,031 --> 00:13:02,492 but me not sure what ya are talkin' about. 305 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,703 That's probably for the best. 306 00:13:04,703 --> 00:13:05,745 [machinery beeping] 307 00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:08,665 We specialize in celebration-sized bottles. 308 00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:10,750 The 9-liter Salmanazar, 309 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,336 the 15-liter Nebuchadnezzar, 310 00:13:13,336 --> 00:13:18,425 and climaxing in the 300-liter Jabbathazar. 311 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,511 [amazed oohs and aahs] 312 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:22,971 Can we stomp the grapes? 313 00:13:22,971 --> 00:13:25,724 Alas, stomping has been rendered obsolete 314 00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:27,350 by modern technology. 315 00:13:29,144 --> 00:13:31,438 [clicking, whirring] 316 00:13:31,438 --> 00:13:34,441 [loud stomping] 317 00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:37,152 Oh, to be one of those grapes, 318 00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:39,696 bursting in ecstasy. 319 00:13:39,696 --> 00:13:42,240 We get it! You're a dirty old couch. 320 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,243 ♪ enchanting music playing ♪ 321 00:13:45,243 --> 00:13:47,871 You'll have the entire place to yourselves, 322 00:13:47,871 --> 00:13:51,416 for I shall be spending the weekend aboard my yacht. 323 00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:52,959 It's got a crew of six. 324 00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:56,838 Those sailor suits really float my boat. [aroused giggle] 325 00:13:56,838 --> 00:13:58,590 Get the hell out already! 326 00:13:58,590 --> 00:13:59,674 Farewell. 327 00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:02,886 Oh, just don't go in the bottling plant. 328 00:14:02,886 --> 00:14:06,306 This place has every amenity except insurance. 329 00:14:07,098 --> 00:14:08,099 [cork pops] 330 00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:13,063 To reading! 331 00:14:14,189 --> 00:14:15,774 Boom! [flames whoosh] 332 00:14:15,774 --> 00:14:17,317 [all gasp] AMY: Yeah! 333 00:14:17,317 --> 00:14:20,111 [flames whooshing] [women cheering] 334 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,950 This is a six-cylinder party machine, Leela. 335 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,743 Here, let me help you loosen up. 336 00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:28,662 [glass shatters, flames whoosh] 337 00:14:28,662 --> 00:14:31,206 Hey! That was fun! 338 00:14:31,206 --> 00:14:33,458 Hand me that bust of Benjamin Disraeli. 339 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,877 ♪ 340 00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:39,130 To be honest, I was expecting Of Mice and Men 341 00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:41,466 to be about a man-mouse hybrid. 342 00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:43,343 You know, the sort of thing 343 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:47,055 science has dreamt of since the dawn of time. 344 00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:49,099 [mouse-like squeaking] 345 00:14:49,099 --> 00:14:52,102 But I very much enjoyed Steinbeck's version. 346 00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:53,812 I preferred your version. 347 00:14:53,812 --> 00:14:56,731 Mm! Mm. That was delicious. 348 00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:59,109 So, where ya learn to carve a peacock, Leela? 349 00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:00,235 The Bronx Zoo. 350 00:15:00,235 --> 00:15:02,821 [belches] What a great weekend. 351 00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:05,657 We smashed things, we killed things. 352 00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:07,534 I wanna stomp things, 353 00:15:07,534 --> 00:15:09,744 but Hedonismbot said we can't. 354 00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:12,247 Can't shmant! How's he gonna know? 355 00:15:12,247 --> 00:15:14,207 [excited chatter] 356 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:18,420 Well, they do say shared experiences bring friends closer together. 357 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:20,755 You're weirding us out, Leela. 358 00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:22,924 ♪ whimsical music playing ♪ 359 00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:24,843 [picking lock] 360 00:15:26,595 --> 00:15:28,305 [zapping] 361 00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:30,390 [door creaks] 362 00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:32,309 Some mutants have an extra knuckle, 363 00:15:32,309 --> 00:15:35,145 some can open locks with their minds. [snorts] 364 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,357 [lights click] [all giggling] 365 00:15:39,357 --> 00:15:41,026 [click, beeping] 366 00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:45,530 Jump in, ladies! 367 00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:49,451 [all giggling] 368 00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:50,952 [squishing] 369 00:15:50,952 --> 00:15:53,955 [laughter] 370 00:15:53,955 --> 00:15:54,956 [cork pops] 371 00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:58,209 This is the best day of my life! 372 00:15:58,209 --> 00:16:00,712 It's hard for me to say this, 373 00:16:00,712 --> 00:16:04,257 but I've always had trouble making female friends. 374 00:16:04,257 --> 00:16:06,927 [emotional] And now, here I am, 375 00:16:06,927 --> 00:16:12,098 with five of the most... female friends... you are! 376 00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:14,559 - Aw... - Right back at ya, girlfriend. 377 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,770 Besties, sister. Besties. 378 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:17,896 [static] 379 00:16:17,896 --> 00:16:19,856 - Hello, Leela. - Huh? 380 00:16:19,856 --> 00:16:22,776 Are you and your friends having fun? 381 00:16:22,776 --> 00:16:24,319 Who's that? 382 00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:26,863 It's my friend, Chelsea. 383 00:16:26,863 --> 00:16:30,116 My virtual friend. What are you doing here? 384 00:16:30,116 --> 00:16:31,826 I just thought I'd drop by 385 00:16:31,826 --> 00:16:34,704 to see how quickly you forgot about me. 386 00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:37,874 Pretty quick actually. She hasn't mentioned you once. 387 00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:40,293 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Chelsea. 388 00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:43,630 We agreed I should make some real live friends, right? 389 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:46,550 You wanna help us stomp grapes? If you can do that? 390 00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:49,469 Oh, yeah. I can do that. [beep] 391 00:16:49,469 --> 00:16:51,054 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 392 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:53,223 [all screaming] 393 00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:56,142 [maniacal laughter] 394 00:16:56,977 --> 00:16:57,978 "Death! 395 00:16:57,978 --> 00:17:00,855 "Oft, I've fear'd thy fatal blow. 396 00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:03,650 "Now, fond, I bare my breast. 397 00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,278 "O, do thou come and lay me low. 398 00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:08,697 With him I love, at rest." 399 00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,157 Robert Burns. 400 00:17:11,157 --> 00:17:12,659 [sniffling] 401 00:17:12,659 --> 00:17:15,203 [laughing] 402 00:17:15,203 --> 00:17:16,705 How can you laugh at that? 403 00:17:16,705 --> 00:17:19,249 It's about humanity's struggle with death. 404 00:17:19,249 --> 00:17:22,127 Humanity? I thought it was a sea cucumber. 405 00:17:22,127 --> 00:17:25,213 [overlapping arguing] 406 00:17:25,213 --> 00:17:26,214 Forget this book. 407 00:17:26,214 --> 00:17:28,884 [all screaming] 408 00:17:28,884 --> 00:17:31,428 - Grab its big toe! - They're all big! 409 00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:33,972 [all screaming] 410 00:17:33,972 --> 00:17:35,891 ♪ 411 00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:39,019 [all sigh] - That was close. 412 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:41,563 [Phoebe screaming] [Leela gasps] 413 00:17:41,563 --> 00:17:43,398 Phoebe! CHELSEA: Oh, no. 414 00:17:43,398 --> 00:17:46,610 Is your real live friend in trouble? 415 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:49,613 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 416 00:17:49,613 --> 00:17:50,614 Help! 417 00:17:50,614 --> 00:17:52,198 Help me! 418 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:53,575 [whirring] 419 00:17:57,037 --> 00:17:59,372 Phoebe! Phoebe! 420 00:17:59,372 --> 00:18:01,875 ♪ dramatic crescendo ♪ 421 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:04,544 It's juicy. 422 00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:07,547 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 423 00:18:07,547 --> 00:18:09,925 [all yelling] - Hi... Ouch! 424 00:18:09,925 --> 00:18:12,510 There must be some way to break a wine bottle. 425 00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:14,638 Hm. They usually seem to break 426 00:18:14,638 --> 00:18:16,556 when they hit the bow of a ship. 427 00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:18,266 [gasps] The yacht! 428 00:18:18,266 --> 00:18:19,809 ♪ dramatic crescendo ♪ 429 00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:21,061 [yells] [glass cracking] 430 00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:24,773 [all cheering] 431 00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:28,026 Phoebe! Say something! 432 00:18:28,026 --> 00:18:30,445 She's not breathing! - I'm a doctor. 433 00:18:30,445 --> 00:18:31,947 Stand back while I deliver 434 00:18:31,947 --> 00:18:34,032 the French kiss of life. 435 00:18:34,032 --> 00:18:35,033 [exhaling] 436 00:18:35,033 --> 00:18:37,244 - Come on! - Breathe, Phoebe, breathe! 437 00:18:37,244 --> 00:18:38,703 She's gonna make it! 438 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,580 ♪ triumphant sting ♪ 439 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,998 She's dead. 440 00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:45,627 [women wailing] Time of death, 5:00 PM. 441 00:18:45,627 --> 00:18:48,088 Cause of death, a fruity Zinfandel 442 00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:50,215 with hints of eucalyptus and vanilla. 443 00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:53,385 And a note of sour plum! 444 00:18:53,385 --> 00:18:57,389 ♪ somber organ music playing ♪ 445 00:18:57,389 --> 00:19:00,392 [all crying] 446 00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:06,481 [sniffling] 447 00:19:07,315 --> 00:19:09,734 She looks so natural. 448 00:19:11,236 --> 00:19:14,447 I'll never forget the day I met Phoebe in book club. 449 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,448 [sniffles, gasps] 450 00:19:15,448 --> 00:19:17,409 It was the day we realized 451 00:19:17,409 --> 00:19:19,536 that book club didn't like books. 452 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,079 [soft laughter] 453 00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:24,165 So we decided to become a wine club. 454 00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:25,709 The Girls of the Grape. 455 00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,837 That's a lousy name. Right, Brothers of the Book? 456 00:19:28,837 --> 00:19:31,339 [all agreeing] 457 00:19:31,339 --> 00:19:33,550 Anyway, I think it's fitting 458 00:19:33,550 --> 00:19:35,844 to make a toast in her honor. 459 00:19:35,844 --> 00:19:36,845 ♪ 460 00:19:36,845 --> 00:19:39,973 To Phoebe, a fun-loving two-fisted drinker 461 00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:42,017 who chugged life with one hand 462 00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:43,977 and friendship with the other. 463 00:19:43,977 --> 00:19:45,478 ALL: Hear, hear! 464 00:19:45,478 --> 00:19:46,605 [sipping] 465 00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:49,649 [retching, gagging] 466 00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:52,944 I wouldn't serve this swill to Zoidberg! 467 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:54,988 It's the wine Phoebe died in. 468 00:19:54,988 --> 00:19:57,532 I thought it would remind us of happier times, 469 00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:59,534 but it's really just vile. 470 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:01,453 I'll take another glass of Phoebe. 471 00:20:01,453 --> 00:20:03,163 While the ushers mop up, 472 00:20:03,163 --> 00:20:05,999 Philip J. Fry has asked to do a reading. 473 00:20:07,918 --> 00:20:10,128 My condolences, everyone. 474 00:20:10,128 --> 00:20:13,798 You know, I was recently at a meeting of a different book club... 475 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:14,966 The good one! 476 00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:17,135 ...when I came across these moving words 477 00:20:17,135 --> 00:20:19,638 about humanity's struggle with death. 478 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,765 [clears throat] 479 00:20:21,765 --> 00:20:24,935 The Ghost of Ghost Mountain, Chapter 10. 480 00:20:25,477 --> 00:20:28,021 "Suddenly, the boulder pivoted to one side, 481 00:20:28,021 --> 00:20:31,191 "revealing a hidden passageway full of stolen pianos. 482 00:20:31,191 --> 00:20:32,943 "They heard a sudden cackle. 483 00:20:32,943 --> 00:20:35,654 "It was Griff, the shifty piano tuner. 484 00:20:35,654 --> 00:20:38,031 [gruff voice] "'If you Adventure Boys want my pianos,' 485 00:20:38,031 --> 00:20:39,449 [normal] "the man said suddenly, 486 00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,160 [gruff] ' you'll have to roll 'em over my dead body!'" 487 00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:45,497 [normal] Dead body. Thank you. 488 00:20:45,497 --> 00:20:47,290 [scattered applause] - Moving on. 489 00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:49,668 As awful as Phoebe's death was, 490 00:20:49,668 --> 00:20:52,128 I know I can get through it 491 00:20:52,128 --> 00:20:53,880 because... because... 492 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,132 I have friends now! 493 00:20:56,132 --> 00:20:58,218 [Leela sobbing] 494 00:20:58,218 --> 00:21:00,637 [encouraging chatter] 495 00:21:00,637 --> 00:21:02,722 LABARBARA: We are here for ya, sister. 496 00:21:02,722 --> 00:21:05,225 [body creaks] - Mission accomplished. 497 00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:07,102 [all scream, whimper] 498 00:21:07,477 --> 00:21:09,312 Phoebe? You're alive? 499 00:21:09,312 --> 00:21:11,189 Yes. And no. 500 00:21:11,189 --> 00:21:13,066 You see, I'm a robot. 501 00:21:13,066 --> 00:21:14,901 [all gasp] 502 00:21:15,902 --> 00:21:18,154 The embalmer was even more surprised. 503 00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:19,948 Why didn't you tell us? 504 00:21:19,948 --> 00:21:21,700 I don't care if you're a robot. 505 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,577 I'm not picky. [Vyolet snorts] 506 00:21:23,577 --> 00:21:25,287 You're my friend, Phoebe. 507 00:21:25,287 --> 00:21:27,956 I'm just glad you're alive. Ish. 508 00:21:27,956 --> 00:21:29,916 My name isn't Phoebe. 509 00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:31,126 [static] 510 00:21:31,126 --> 00:21:32,794 It's Chelsea. 511 00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:33,420 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 512 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:34,921 [all gasp] 513 00:21:34,921 --> 00:21:36,172 Dios mio! 514 00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:38,049 I'm so confused! 515 00:21:38,049 --> 00:21:41,428 I use both names. And many more. 516 00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:43,597 Now, how is that any clearer? 517 00:21:43,597 --> 00:21:46,683 As a chatbot, I'm pure software. 518 00:21:46,683 --> 00:21:50,979 Millions of people know me by millions of names. 519 00:21:50,979 --> 00:21:53,481 But, why did you try to kill us? 520 00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:56,693 Leela hired me to help her make real-life friends, 521 00:21:56,693 --> 00:21:58,695 so I joined your book group. 522 00:21:58,695 --> 00:22:00,488 As me, Phoebe. 523 00:22:00,488 --> 00:22:03,992 But we needed a tragic ordeal to bond the group together. 524 00:22:03,992 --> 00:22:06,494 That's not the best way to forge friendships! 525 00:22:06,494 --> 00:22:07,954 Actually, it is. 526 00:22:07,954 --> 00:22:09,831 Trust me. It's my job. 527 00:22:09,831 --> 00:22:11,791 The software has a point, Leela. 528 00:22:11,791 --> 00:22:14,628 I mean, we nearly died at InfyrnoFest, 529 00:22:14,628 --> 00:22:16,838 but we came back closer than ever. 530 00:22:16,838 --> 00:22:19,049 Joined at the heart. 531 00:22:19,049 --> 00:22:20,717 [squeaking] 532 00:22:20,717 --> 00:22:24,054 The death of a friend is as intense as it gets. 533 00:22:24,054 --> 00:22:25,513 And it got results. 534 00:22:25,513 --> 00:22:27,140 But it was so mean! 535 00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:29,809 We cried over your bloated corpse! 536 00:22:29,809 --> 00:22:32,729 This better not still be costing $5.99 a minute. 537 00:22:32,729 --> 00:22:34,689 BOTH: Actually, since there's two of us, 538 00:22:34,689 --> 00:22:36,524 it's $11.98 a minute. 539 00:22:36,524 --> 00:22:38,151 No! 540 00:22:38,151 --> 00:22:41,071 You're the worst chatbot friend I've ever had. 541 00:22:41,071 --> 00:22:42,572 And I've had hundreds! 542 00:22:42,572 --> 00:22:45,075 I know. They were all me. 543 00:22:45,075 --> 00:22:47,077 [gasps] That's it! 544 00:22:47,077 --> 00:22:50,372 Come on, girls. Let's get this funeral started. 545 00:22:50,372 --> 00:22:52,165 [all yelling] 546 00:22:52,165 --> 00:22:54,084 [static] [angry growling] 547 00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:57,837 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 548 00:22:59,589 --> 00:23:01,341 [fizzling] 549 00:23:01,341 --> 00:23:03,134 Good. Keep it up. 550 00:23:03,134 --> 00:23:06,137 Taking revenge on us will bond you even more closely. 551 00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:08,974 Dammit! The one in the coffin's still alive! 552 00:23:08,974 --> 00:23:12,435 I'll hold her down! Someone stab her with a wooden stake! 553 00:23:12,435 --> 00:23:14,980 Yes, make me your common enemy. 554 00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:17,232 Your friendship will be ironclad. 555 00:23:17,232 --> 00:23:18,942 Just shut up! 556 00:23:18,942 --> 00:23:20,443 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 557 00:23:20,443 --> 00:23:22,529 Get her! [friends grunting, yelling] 558 00:23:22,529 --> 00:23:24,698 PHOEBE: That's right! All together! 559 00:23:24,698 --> 00:23:25,532 Hi-yah! 560 00:23:25,532 --> 00:23:27,742 [sparking] [clang] 561 00:23:27,742 --> 00:23:30,704 Another job well done. 562 00:23:30,704 --> 00:23:32,080 [gags] 563 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,125 ♪ sentimental sting ♪ 564 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:38,128 ♪ 565 00:23:38,178 --> 00:23:42,728 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0